Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
This is the high leading the old right now
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
