it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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