I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
