talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
