It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
