Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
