Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
