I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
