The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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