how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
