But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize