would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
