pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
