dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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