Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
