Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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