You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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