she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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