She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
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