Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
