I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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