It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
