are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
