1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
oh god the rape fog is back!
Please, let me fuck your mom
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.