Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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