I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
sarcasm needs its own font
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
