I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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