i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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