I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
