my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
