...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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