I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
