I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
