They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
