Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
