Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
