69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I looked at my own cervix.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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