I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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