Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
