i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize