Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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