Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
we're making bets on your personal life
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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