Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize