Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
