Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
