a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
