I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
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I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
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I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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