wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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