He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
