oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You had me at "let me see your balls"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
