I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
