Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
