Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
