I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
