He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
