My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
