No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
