He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The uberlube is also flammable
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
