Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
