I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i now understand why vodka
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
