Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
