There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
