Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
