Welp...herpes.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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