Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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