I met the friendliest cop last night
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
